I don’t normally discuss my private life but you and I are old friends now.

If I can’t trust you who can I trust?

You know I’m not an overly demonstrative guy. I never write personal stuff on Facebook. I prefer to express my sentiments to the person for whom they are intended not broadcast them for everyone and their dog to read.

Well, I was taking a coffee break in Costa this week and overheard a lady telling her friend that her husband never expressed any appreciation for her. She was clearly upset and it made me think.

I don’t want Mrs B to feel unappreciated so I made up my mind to ensure she did not.

We had just finished dinner, the sunset illuminated our lovely garden and I took advantage of the moment to hold her hand and say: ‘I just want to tell you how much I appreciate having you as my wife. You are a kind, considerate and lovely person.”

“And you,” she said, “Are...a bit odd.”

I poured my heart out like a Love Island contestant and all I got was ‘you’re a bit odd’.

Ladies, help me out here...am I on the transfer list or what?

If you have any good stories for me email me at vicbarlow@icloud.com.

By columnist Vic Barlow